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Jenna just days before her surgery
On Tuesday March 2, 2010; One week ago today; one of my dearest friends was rushed to the hospital with seizure like symptoms. Within hours they discovered she had a mass on her brain. 24 hours after that discovery they named it a benign tumor and started her on steroids and other pain medications so that they could allow time for the swelling in her brain to go down before putting her through surgery to remove the tumor.
Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine I would walk with a friend through a tragedy like this but alas this has become a part of her story and has now trailed its way into mine. This blog entry is not designed to give you details about Jenna’s tumor If you’d like to hear more about the last week you can see our updates at http://www.aussiejoyslife.com. I just want to share with you a few things I have learned out of this experience…
The thing that has blown all of our minds has been God’s presence and peace in the entire situation. Jenna has an infectious smile and laugh that has penetrated the hospital room for the 6 days she has awaited surgery. She has puzzled nurses and doctors with her calm and resolved attitude. And she has touched so many other patients with her sweet spirit and genuine love. She has shown us what joy in the midst of a trial looks like and has given me the courage to walk into anything put before me.
What I really want to share is the idea of COMMUNITY. Man, it has been incredible. Just today I was telling a friend that I don’t want this all to end because I have loved the community that has come out of this situation. We have spent so much time laughing and sharing what God is doing all around us. We have spent time pleaded with God in prayer and praising Him with our voices and even instruments (in the hospital!!!) I cannot tell you what that has done in my heart.
I truly believe that for the first time in my life I am seeing the fullness of God’s design for fellowship among believers. Void of selfishness, jealousy, and desire for status. Only love and a desire to serve has filled the hospital room 221 and then 708 for the last 6 days. I am starting to see why God calls us to this kind of community… it is so life giving. I have walked away each day so tired and ready for bed but also so refreshed and satisfied and loved. Even tonight I had a meal with Jenna’s family and another friend. Just sharing stories of what God has done just left me so energized. I believe this is the life we are offered as believers. And this all came in the midst of what so many would name a tragedy. But for Jenna it has been a time of joy and peace and rest… and that has allowed for us to experience true community and fellowship.
The COMMUNITY consisted of people from all sides of Jenna’s life coming together with two common factors: Jesus and Jenna. 
But our differences didn’t matter. We all gave to one another emotionally and physically. We met each others needs financially even. There was one moment when I cooked a meal for the family and another friend turned around and gave me almost the exact amount of money that I spent on the meal. As I gave, I received. For me this verse came to life at that moment…
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47
And it continued… there were a core of us that were in and out of the hospital every day. I watched other scriptures come to life as I sat back and looked at how we functioned with eachother…
So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another… 1 Corinthians 11:33
But God has composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Corinthians 12:24-26
I smile when I think about all the moments we have had over the last week. It has been such a sweet close-up of true God-centered community. My prayer now is that this will continue past today as she is on the other side of this journey. The surgery is complete and she is safely resting in the ICU. What does your community look like? Do you feel more alive when you leave a time of fellowship? Do you walk away knowing more about God and yearning to be with Him more? I believe true community will cause you to say a resounding “YES!!!” to all of those questions.
When life doesn’t make sense… how do you make sense of it?! That is the season I am in right now. I am trying to hold tightly to God’s promises of prosperity and fulfilled desires but am experiencing the exact opposite. Does that mean that God lied to me? Not at all. So then how do I make sense of the voids?! I read this passage the other day in Romans and it directly spoke to my life at the moment…
Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it has been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead– since he was about a hundred years old– and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised. Romans 4:18-21
God made an impossible promise to Abraham… impossible for Abraham to fulfill. Abraham in his youth was promised to be the father of more children than he could count; more numerous than the stars. As he grew old he still hadn’t seen this fulfilled in his life. Abraham had a decision to make. Would he decide that he had misheard God and that maybe God had different plans or would he continue of on believing in God’s promise over his life? He chose to believe in impossibility.
That is the crossroad I am sitting at. I believe that God has placed a calling over my life as a minister using my viola. I have had prophecies spoken over my life, more times than I can count, confirming my role as a minister of music. Yet, I see void all around me. I see financial void mostly. And I sit in a place where I am not sure if it is time to call this vision off and walk into financial stability. But there is something internal that tells me to believe in God’s promises. That voice came to Abraham in the most barren time of his life. And yet he believed. I chose to believe as well.
But then here is another thought that comes to my head… what about my future? I have been told by many that God has the perfect guy out there for me. I was told through prophecy a long time ago that I shouldn’t worry about my husband because God has ordained that part of my life to be fulfilled in due time. Well, when is my time? Has God forgotten that promise as well? Can I at least have one thing… a successful career or a husband? But all I hear is trust, wait, believe. So I continue on…
Many people look at that kind of faith as denial of reality. It is hard to understand why some people walk gracefully through life and others have to almost pry doors open or tread through miles of weeds to get to the door. But no matter the journey we are called to the same posture… face to the ground. That is where I chose to stay.
In this season of barren land I chose to worship God. I chose to believe in His promises. I chose to wait. Hannah prayed, “The Lord brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.” 1 Samuel 2:6-8
He chooses poverty, barrenness at times. But He is still in control and we still get to take the same position at His feet. I lean on that promise that I will never have to walk this out alone. Thank you Father for your goodness and for always being there. For not letting the righteous be put to shame. For being my provider. I trust you Lord.
Posted February 9th, 2010. Add a comment
I was born in Central Illinois in 1981. For the first part of my life it was just me and my Ma. When I was 14 my Ma got remarried and thus entered my step-dad. It was a hard adjustment at first but now I have grown to love him and thank God for him as he is such a blessing to me and my Ma.
After high school I applied for colleges all throughout the US and ended up at the state school in my hometown studying viola. After college I decided to stay in my town and serve in my church as an intern. Within months that turned into a paid position. I officially went on staff serving as the Programs and Worship Coordinator. That was the hardest, most challenging and most life-changing experiences for me. I will never forget that year of my life. It was in that year that God started to truly lay Nashville on my heart. I had thought about going there a few years back but while on staff I started to pursue the idea. I looked at the Grad program at Belmont and decided that wasn’t what I wanted. Then, months later I looked at the Undergrad program for Music Business and decided that, that was what I was to pursue. SO, I stepped down from my position at church and headed to Nashville as the oldest undergrad!! Talk about a humbling experience… That year was so stretching for me as it was my first “move away from home.” Yikes! But God got me through it. The summer after I moved I got the opportunity to serve as a the Junior High Girl’s leader at a church in TX so I said yes. That summer my biggest lesson was learning how to shine in the moments when I wanted to give up. God gave me the phrase…
“YOU CAN WHINE, OR YOU CAN SHINE!”
I chose to shine and God met me. It ended up being an unforgettable summer and a place that I long to go back to!! From that summer I moved back to Nashville but didn’t continue at Belmont. I felt like I had started over again and was so miserable in that feeling. I was lonely and tired of trials and just wanted rest. God allowed me to sit on my couch eating junk food and watching Gilmore Girls for 6 months while I mourned some of the hard things I had been through. At the end of the 6 months I was sitting on my couch and heard God say, “Are you ready to get up? I have some things I want to show you.” I got myself up and knew it was time to start living again. SO, I made my way to a Christmas Party that I had randomly heard about as I felt God telling me that He had something for me there. Well, He did!! I met some of the most incredible people and some of them are now my dearest friends. God set me on a new path that night and I was ready to go!
From there God has challenged me with questions like, “IF you could do one thing perfectly in your life what would you do?” In thinking through that and realizing that “everything on this earth will fade” I knew that all I wanted was to be a LIFE FULLY SURRENDERED TO THE LORD. God continues to teach me, build my faith and challenge my character in order to meet my request. And I love it!!!
Miracles have been performed in my life since my birth but in the last few years I have taken note of them. God calls us to remember what He has done, to recall the blessings, to dwell on what is good, to allow HIM to be our praise. As I think about all that He has done, I am amazed!
In the last few years He has gotten me out of my personal debt. He has shown me a new level of trust as I walk out being a musician and graphic designer. He is giving me a love for His Word and a yearning to understand it. He is pressing me into Himself and showing me how much He loves me.
Posted February 9th, 2010. Add a comment
This weekend marked the start of a stretch of tours I am going to be going on over the next several months. As I headed to Somerset, KY to play my viola I prayed for God to show me my place in this adventure. I didn’t want to just go to play music, I wanted to make a difference in this town. On day 2 of this trip God made my purpose clear. He had something to teach me. Me and two guys from the band were hanging out in the office of the church we were playing for and I made a comment that launched one of the guys into his entire life story. The other band guy and myself sat wide eyed and jaws dropped as we heard all that he has been through. I have gone to church with this guy for almost 3 years and had no idea. I was amazed at God’s redemption and love for this man and I had such a compassion to just love on him. It was an incredible moment. It was there that I realized that so many come through my life and I place them in the box I feel they belong and never ask them their story. Our stories define who we are and yet I preferred to make my own stories about people. I have been missing the opportunity to learn from people’s stories as well as encourage people to move forward in their stories. So, I thought I would share my story and for those that are reading this and want to… could you write me your story?? I would love to create a section of people’s stories on my site so that myself and others can learn from you!! Give me whatever story you are dying to tell!! About you of course…
And if you don’t want your story shared with others please still send it to me as I would LOVE to hear it!!! So here is my story…
I was born in Central Illinois in 1981. For the first part of my life it was just me and my Ma. When I was 14 my Ma got remarried and thus entered my step-dad. It was a hard adjustment at first but now I have grown to love him and thank God for him as he is such a blessing to me and my Ma.
After high school I applied for colleges all throughout the US and ended up at the state school in my hometown studying viola. After college I decided to stay in my town and serve in my church as an intern. Within months that turned into a paid position. I officially went on staff serving as the Programs and Worship Coordinator. That was the hardest, most challenging and most life-changing experiences for me. I will never forget that year of my life. It was in that year that God started to truly lay Nashville on my heart. I had thought about going there a few years back but while on staff I started to pursue the idea. I looked at the Grad program at Belmont and decided that wasn’t what I wanted. Then, months later I looked at the Undergrad program for Music Business and decided that, that was what I was to pursue. SO, I stepped down from my position at church and headed to Nashville as the oldest undergrad!! Talk about a humbling experience…
That year was so stretching for me as it was my first “move away from home.” Yikes! But God got me through it. The summer after I moved I got the opportunity to serve as a the Junior High Girl’s leader at a church in TX so I said yes. That summer my biggest lesson was learning how to shine in the moments when I wanted to give up. God gave me the phrase…
“YOU CAN WHINE, OR YOU CAN SHINE!”
I chose to shine and God met me. It ended up being an unforgettable summer and a place that I long to go back to!! From that summer I moved back to Nashville but didn’t continue at Belmont. I felt like I had started over again and was so miserable in that feeling. I was lonely and tired of trials and just wanted rest. Well, God allowed me to sit on my couch eating junk food and watching Gilmore Girls for 6 months while I mourned some of the hard things I had been through. At the end of the 6 months I was sitting on my couch and heard God say, “Are you ready to get up? I have some things I want to show you.” I got myself up and knew it was time to start living again. SO, I made my way to a Christmas Party that I had randomly heard about as I felt God telling me that He had something for me there. Well, He did!! I met some of the most incredible people and some of them are now my dearest friends. God set me on a new path that night and I was ready to go!
From there God has challenged me with questions like, “IF you could do one thing perfectly in your life what would you do?” In thinking through that and realizing that “everything on this earth will fade” I knew that all I wanted was to be a LIFE FULLY SURRENDERED TO THE LORD. God continues to teach me, build my faith and challenge my character in order to meet my request. And I love it!!!
Miracles have been performed in my life since my birth but in the last few years I have taken note of them. God calls us to remember what He has done, to recall the blessings, to dwell on what is good, to allow HIM to be our praise. As I think about all that He has done, I am amazed!
In the last year He has gotten me out of my personal debt, showed me a new level of trust as I walk out being a musician and graphic designer. He is giving me a love for His Word and a yearning to understand it. He is pressing me into Himself and showing me how much He loves me. If you want to read more about the miracles in my life you can check out my miracles page and/ or the blog I wrote on one of my more recent miracles. Oh, am I grateful for all the Lord has done…
What is your story?? How did you come to be who you are today?? What in your life has shaped you the most?? I really want to know so please please please share with me!! Thank you for reading. God bless!!
Posted February 16th, 2009. Add a comment
I have come to realize that all of my posts are really serious. But then it hit me, this is my outlet to talk about the things I am learning. So eventually I will be more balanced and write goofy stuff but for now… you are being introduced to my serious side. Today I was reading in the book of Numbers and came to a very familiar Bible story about Moses hitting the rock to get water for the Israelites when God asked him to simply speak to the rock. Now some of you may say, “What’s the big deal… he approached the rock, hit it and water came out…. Moses has put up with so much… he basically did what God asked.” Well it was a big deal to God. It was a big enough deal that God did not allow Moses to enter Canaan when they finally arrived there. Moses spent much of his life leading people to the very land he ended up missing out on because of one act of disobedience. Seem harsh?? Well, I know my first thought was that Moses deserved to see Canaan far more than the Israelites did. But then after thinking about it some more I realized something. What we gain is NOT dependent upon our lifetime of good decisions. Each decision is tied to a consequence. Moses was obedient to God in nearly every area of life and God blessed Him in that. Moses had a communication with God that made the Israelites jealous, Moses was given the authorty to lead, Moses even got to see the back side of God as He passed by Moses. Moses was blessed. But God gave clear instructions to Moses and he chose his own route. Here was Moses’ consequence…
Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” Numbers 20:12
Continue Reading…
Posted February 10th, 2009. 1 comment
